My Life Struggle

I’ve been fat almost my whole life and it wasn’t easy at all. I went through a lot of bullying at school and in my community as well, it created at a lot of stress for me.  Always when I got home I would go to my room and cry my eyes out, at least my mom was there to comfort me.She would tell me that God chose to make me this way and He loves me the way I am.

At home, at school, in public transport like everywhere! All I used hear is, “You should lose weight you don’t look good at all”. Honestly that one simple sentence would ruin my day and replay in my mind all day long. I reached a point where I said yes, I have to lose weight for the sake of people’s comments. Then my mother bought me Zumba Fitness DVD’s(cumbia, reggaeton, calypso, African roots, samba, salsa etc…) . I loved and I still love dancing, it because it didn’t feel like am working out, it felt like am dancing my worries out. Well, I lost a couple of pounds and I ended up quitting, mom signed me up for diet consultations I only attended twice and she bought me slimming products and I would only take them about two weeks and stop. A lot of money was wasted on me and on something that I didn’t want to change but I was just too scared to admit it because I used to care about what people say about me.

I would be alone in a quiet environment and ask myself rhetorical questions:

Why me?

Well everything happens for a reason but why did God make me fat?

Why does He allow people to keep on tormenting me with hurting word?

Why can’t he make me slimmer and have a fabulous life like everyone?

One day, I started to search for plus size pages on Facebook. I found tons and I chose to look through Plus-Size Revolution, I liked what I saw and saved pictures of quotes and plus-size women wearing nice outfits.

It brought a smile on my face to know that there are ladies out there like me who are big and beautiful. Almost every day I would visit plus-size pages, like and save those pictures and I finally came to a conclusion.

Firstly I told myself that I am beautiful and I don’t need people to tell me that I am beautiful so that I can believe it, telling myself was more than enough. I came across a plus-size model Miss Diva Kurves (Francie Maupin).

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I like everything about her, the way she embraces her body and dresses. She gave me hope that one day I will overcome my insecurities, avoid all the negative comments thrown my way and love myself the way I am and indeed here I am.

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It felt good to destroy the box I was locked in for many years. I opened an Instagram account, followed plus-size women and posted my full body pictures. I got featured on some plus-size pages and really there are people out there who admire plus-size women, is just that I was surrounded with negative people. I thank God that my family decided to relocate to another area where I meet new awesome classmates and friends who appreciate me the way I am and encourage me to embrace my body.Later on,one of my friends became my boyfriend.I fell inlove with him because he accepted me the way I am,he compliments me,he treats me like a queen and he is so sweet.

I realized that it is important to surround yourself with positive people. People who always say good things about you, appreciate you the way you are and encourage you to be yourself. Above all, put yourself first and love yourself because there is no one who will love you like you do.Thats the best advice I could give to anyone who is going through my similar battle.

Love Your Self First And The Rest Will Follow

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3 thoughts on “My Life Struggle

  1. Embrace your body/
    And Impress nobody/
    Your blog made me love me/…
    Thanks for the inspiration/
    Because of you, I now know that
    My body has different dimensions/…

    Peace and love✌

    Liked by 1 person

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